Love, Part One

      Lets take a couple of days to talk about love. That’s one of the most often misused words in the English language. How is the word misused and how should it be used? Let’s get into the answers. Love has been used to describe a fondness for chocolate or peanuts and as a euphemism for sexual intercourse. The feeling of fondness for inanimate things may be strong. It may even rise to the level of addiction. But inanimate objects cannot be loved because they are not sentient, not self-aware, and can’t grow into any other potential. By definition, inanimate is not alive and can’t grow.
      At the other extreme, sex is not love. Sex is a glorious expression of the bond between two people which, in hetero couples leads to the propagation of the species. The chemicals that our bodies produce during sex bond us to our sexual partner on a physical, mental and spiritual level. When sex is abused for recreation these chemical signals get confused and diminished, until it become difficult to form a life-long bond with our partner. Sex without love feels good for the moment, but causes significant damage to the soul and spirit. Therefore, we ought to avoid using sex for recreation. But to confuse sex with love is the primary danger.
      It is also impossible to love a condition or situation for the same reason that one can’t love an inanimate object. Unless the object of our love is self-aware, like a human or an animal, the feeling of fondness is not love, however strong it may be. People and animals can be loved because the bonds we form with other living beings can rise to the level of love by our own conscious choice.
      Another thing one must beware of is the romantic idea of falling in love. While it’s natural and glorious to be physically and socially attracted to another person, love is not a hole one may fall into. We can only enter into love by choice. It is a greater commitment of our soul than can be accomplished without our own active volition. Love is not a trap waiting to ambush the unsuspecting person who happens along. Love is a verb. It is something we do for and with another person. Love is not passive but active. In his book The Road Less Traveled, Dr. M. Scott Peck defined love as creating that environment in which the object of that love may grow to his or her fullest potential.
      Love is something we do with and for each other. Love can, and most often should be expressed without sex. Love lives on many levels.
      Tomorrow I shall explore these levels of love.